


Never Have I Ever

by RedFive



Series: The Wheel of Time Mile High Club [2]
Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Complicated Queer Friendships, F/F, Highschool AU, M/M, POV Lesbian Character, Unrequited Love, coming out story, letting go, spoiler free
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-27 18:02:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20764622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedFive/pseuds/RedFive
Summary: The Band of the Red Hand plays a game of Never Have I Ever as they get drunk and celebrate the end of the school year and the start of their new lives. **Spoiler Free**About the Series: Sometimes I go on long plane trips and take prompts from my Twitter followers. Here are the collected results of those sprints for the #TwitterOfTime community.





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gekidasa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gekidasa/gifts).

> Prompt for @_alivealife who requested "Mat and Talmanes play a game of Never Have I Ever," which somehow transformed into "Aludra pines for Birgitte A LOT lol. Sorry about that. I feel like I am doing a terrible job of fulfilling prompts.
> 
> Beta'ed by @lordzupka.

The moon was full. The night was cool enough for a fire, and the graduating class of 2011 gathered around the bonfire on the last night before their final exams. “Never have I ever ridden a motorcycle,” Mat said miming the action with his hands.

No one drank except for Talmanes’s, which was not surprising. His dad had bought himself a Ducatti during an expensive midlife crisis, but his family affford could do that. 

A smile appeared on Mat’s face, the kind of smile that curled around his teeth and made him look like an irascible badger. “_Naked_,” he added while the red solo cup was still at Talmanes lips. It was a juvenile prank and not one of his best, but they had been drinking home-brewed hooche since what would have been sixth period. If no one was on their A-game tonight, they could be forgiven. 

But Talmanes tipped his glass higher as he drank, and Mat’s smile became a frown. “In reverse!” he snapped daring Talmanes to back down.

“Most motorcycles don’t go in reverse,” Talmanes said after he had drained his glass.

“I know that! I was just testing to see if you were actually listening to me or if you were just—“

Talmanes turned his back on Mat mid-tirade and reached for the thermose that held their booze. 

“I knew it! I knew you weren’t listening!” Mat hollered before launching himself at Talmanes. The two boys rolled around in the dirt, play slapping at each other like a pair of kittens, and no one moved to break up the fight. They had grown used to exactly this sort of thing from the pair of them. It was ridiculous and immature, but that was who they were—or who Mat was anyway. Talmanes was more reserved in public and only showed his playful side when the opportunity to make Mat the butt of a joke arose. For a time, Aludra had thought that they _liked_ each other but nothing had ever come me of these warped flirtations. She suspected she was just projecting her own troubles onto her two friends. 

“Enough! Both of you! You weren’t playing fair either, Mat,” said the voice of those self-same troubles. Golden-haired Birgitte glared at them over the roaring flames of the bonfires. She looked radiant and heroic in the firelight like this was who she was always meant to be. 

The two boys froze mid-fight. Talmanes, being the bigger body, nearly had Mat pinned, but he wouldn't have held the advantage for long. Ever the sly one, Mat had maneuvered his right arm and hip flexor into a very specific position. He was prepared to execute one of his hallmark escapes that had made him famous on the wrestling team. But what worked well in the gym didn't always translate into a common brawl. Executing the move now could have just as easily rolled both boys INTO the fire. It was a danger Birgitte would have surely seen. Mat might be their de facto leader, but Birgitte was their protector. 

Talmanes helped Mat up and tried to brush the dirt out of his hair in a conciliatory manner, but Mat was having_ none _of it. “I’d have had you in three seconds,” he grumbled.

“I don’t doubt it,” Talmanes said in such an even tone it was hard to tell whether he was being genuine or purposefully condescending, which was often Talmanes's way. He kept his intentions close to his chest and shared council only with himself. Aludra had met him at the same time as Mat, but sometimes it still felt like she hardly knew him. He kept himself a part from the others, never quite fitting in. _She knew the feeling well, but not the reason. ’I wonder if it’s because his family is so much richer than the rest of ours,’_ she thought.

When Talmanes plopped two fresh drinks into their hands, Mat finally settle down.

Meanwhile, Birgitte gently elbowed Aludra beneath the blanket they shared to stay warm. Aludra had unwisely elected to wear her favorite green sundress today, which was fitted from the hips up, but fell in voluminous soft sheer folds down to her knees. The dress had been fine while the sun was up. Thank the Light, Birgitte always kept a blanket in her truck.

“How are you doing?” she asked looking down into Aludra’s face six inches away. “I can walk you home if you are feeling tired.”

“You can’t! Aludra! Don’t fall asleep us now. It’s our last night of freedom,” Mat complained.

“I’m here,” she murmured and regretted it immediately. By speaking, she had broken the spell she had woven around herself forcing herself to leave this fantasy where Birgitte was not dating that troll Gaidal Cain. In this alternate history, she and Brigitte were together instead sharing a tender moment beside the fire. 

It wasn’t real. 

It would _never_ be real; she knew that. _ Oh, how bitterly she knew that. _ But it was nights like this when Birgitte was doing her whole hero routine that it was easy to let herself _ think _she meant something more by it. However, all dreams must end, and dawn waits for no woman. Birgitte and Gaidal had been bound together since middle school in a turbulent on-again, off-again epic romance. They had separated dozens of times, but always found their way back to each other, while Aludra watched from the sidelines—a spectator in the great game of love. 

At least Gaidal hadn’t been invited tonight. Tonight was _ exclusively _ for their little group, one last perfect night before final exams. After this, the group would split up, each following their separate destinies. Birgitte and Gaidal would enroll at McGill in Canada of all places. Talmanes was following Mat to Ohio on their dual wrestling scholarships, while Chel Vanin, the fifth member of their merry “Band” as they called themselves, was staying local to take over his father's logging business. 

Aludra...Aludra didn’t know what she wanted to do. Chemistry eventually. She liked science. But she thought she might take a year off first, do some traveling..find herself. “Be gay. Do crimes.” Isn’t that how saying went? She wasn't out yet, not even to her best friend Birgitte for the obvious reason that she was in love with her. 

“ALUDRA,” Mat shouted again.

Aludra looked up as Chel returned with more firewood. They were fresh-fresh cut, thick logs that he must have stolen from the Congar farm, which sat directly behind the Cauthon’s property where they had hidden themselves away. The Band looked at her expectantly, Birgitte included, and Aludra felt too guilty to call it quits. The minute they packed it up, this would all be over. 

Brigitte reached for her hand beneath the blanket and gave it a squeeze. Birgitte’s hands were rough and calloused from the hours she spent at the archery range. In that way they matched. Her own were scarred from a childhood accident with a firecracker. She let her hand linger in Birgitte's while simultaneously cursing herself for her continued weakness when it came to all matters involving the bloody woman. 

Yes...soon all of this would be over. For once, Aludra felt grateful for that. 

The moon passed behind a cloud, and for a moment, Birgitte's golden-hair seemed far less radiant without the glow of moonlight crowning her. In darkness, a dangerous thought crossed Aludra’s mind. _ ‘Would it even matter if she knew?’ _What if they never spoke again after that? Brigitte would be gone no matter what she did. Did all this secrecy and pain even matter? 

Reluctantly, Aludra peeled herself from Birgitte’s side and sat up stick-straight. She wouldn't spill all of it—just enough to relive some of this pressure in her chest. “Never have I ever kissed a man,” she said strategically.

Reactions from the group varied. Chel snickered. Birgitte blushed then drained her glass. Mat chewed his bottom lip like he was trying to solve a difficult math problem and Talmanes...well, Talmanes lifted his glass and took a _large_ swallow. 

The record scratch was immediate. Even the moon returned to observe. 

“Talmanes! You can’t just drink when you want to! That defeats the purpose of the game!” Chel said. 

“What makes you think I cheated?” Talmanes replied then licked his lips clean with a cool and confident smile. 

The group fell silent except for the thundering of Alurdra’s heart. Talmanes was…like her? 

“Dude, you kissed a guy?” Chel blurted out and laughter punctuated his question. Aludra felt sick watching one of her worst nightmares play out. She should say something, she knew she should, but she was paralyzed with fear for both Talmanes _and herself_ even if these were her friends. Watch Hill was a small town and one that could be unwelcoming to people who did not fit within a certain societal framework. She supposed that's why she had fallen in with the Band. They were each a misfit in his or her own way. But even among her friends, no one was queer.

“I did,” Talmanes said matter of factly, “and he was _ very _ good at it. You’re surprised I take it?” Talmanes looked directly at Aludra when he spoke donning a kind and encouraging smile so his meaning would not be mistaken this time. 

_ "Are you gay?” _She mouthed silently. 

_ “Bi,” _ he mouthed back then subtly tapped his watch and flicked his head towards Mat and Brigitte. 

Aludra nodded in agreement. Another time. 

“Hey, man, it's cool if you wanna kiss dudes. It’s cool. But who was—,” Chel was saying until Brigitte cut him off.

“_It is cool, Chel_!” Her voice was as sharp as a fresh plucked bow, “and that’s enough from you unless Talmanes would like to say more. Honestly, it’s like you were raised by wolves.” 

”Wolves have more manners,” Aludra snarked in a slow baritone voice meant to mock their classmate Perrin Ayabara—the local sociopath, possible furry, and definite future-eco terrorist! Almost everyone laughed. 

Mat stayed uncharacteristically silent through all of this, which dew Aludra’s attention. While Birgitte and Chel argued, Mat kept his eyes downcast looking solemnly into the fire. Talmanes followed Aludra’s gaze, and his brows furrowed when his eyes fell on Mat. 

After a pause, he punched Mat across the forearm. “Hey, you okay?” he asked. 

“Was it Couladin?” Mat replied and reached up to massage an old injury in his neck. It was a familiar tick—Mat's nervous habit when shit got serious. But Couladin? Surely not. The only Couladin she knew of was the one from Shaido, a wrestler at their rival school who fought in Mat’s weight class. Couladin gave Mat fits whenever they went against each other in a heat, and he had almost cost Mat his Ohio scholarship at the State Championship in Cairhien this year. 

“Yeah,” Talmanes grunted and kicked a cloud of dirt into the fire with his foot. The air was thick with hurt and heartache like the aftermath of storm. 

“I asked you last year if you liked him.” Mat said through teeth that clenched and unclenched as he continued to vigorously work the muscles of his neck with his fingers.

“I didn’t like him last fall. We met up again over the winter break."

"And you liked him better then?” This time there was no mistaking the snarl in Mat's voice for anything other than an emotional response. 

Aludra held her breath in disbelief at what she was witnessing. 

"Mat, it ended quickly—I swear." Talmanes said. "Besides why does it matter who I—,"

“That’s not why I asked you if you liked him!” Mat snapped. “Light, you can be such a—,”

What happened next nearly knocked Aludra out of her sneakers. Talmanes reached, grabbed Mat by the scruff of his neck, and yanked Mat towards him.

Aludra, Chel, and Brigitte gasped as the two boys bumped heads and awkwardly settled into a kiss. It didn’t last long. Mat made a small, pleased sound in his throat before he shot out of Talmanes grasp like a bullet.

“—Light-cursed, bloody, hard-headed, WOOLHEAD.” Mat said rising to his feet in a fury. 

Talmanes smiled and shook his head like he was shaking off a dream. “You could have just said something, dumbie.”

“Why would I say anything? I don’t want to talk to you! IN FACT, I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!” Mat scrambled for his stuff. “You’re a jerk! And a brute! And I don’t care how many times you kissed Couladin!”

“It was only the one time, Mat. Don't worry, you two are even.”

Mat stuck his finger in Talmanes face. “For now!” he said before storming off.

“Well, I need a drink,” Birgitte said when Mat had gone. “And then I should probably go check on him.”

Chel handed the thermos to Birgitte, who downed the rest of in two gulps. Then Chel and Birgitte left left to find Mat leaving the booze with a Talmanes. 

Aludra stared at her friend. Talmanes stared at the fire. He was smiling, which Aludra could NOT understand. Confessing her feelings to Birgitte had seemed like such a good idea before Mat and Talmanes had proved her so very wrong in the least expected way imaginable. 

“So you….and Mat?”

Talmanes shook his head. ”Maybe? I thought it was just me. Mat flirts with_ everyone _but only dated women. I assumed that meant he was straight. Mat’s right, ugh, I am an idiot.

“I maintain that wasn’t dating,” Aludra sniffed remembering that one summer Mat had become ensorcelled first by Tylin and then Tuon after Tylin got bored of him. They both treated him like property. It was hard to watch.

“Oh, I agree” Talmanes said as he picked the leaves off his varsity jacket and threw them into the fire. “But after those two dumped him for their next pets, he checked out of the dating scene entirely. I tried to ask him about it once, but he thought I was trying to set him up with someone and got really mad.”

“Were you?”

“Yeah. Me!”

“So Couladin was….? Revenge? A rebound?

“A mistake...but also a very good kisser. I wasn’t lying about that,” he snorted, but there was no humor in it. He wore the same expression Mat had earlier—distant and mournful. “Light, I didn’t expect this though.”

Aludra picked up the blanket Birgitte had abandoned and wrapped it around her like an embrace. “Didn’t expect that Mat would reject you?”

Talmanes laughed and flopped over onto his back. You didn’t notice then? Aludra, I wasn’t the first one to use tongue.”

Her eyes widened. “Shit!”

“Shit indeed,” he said, but he was practically purring.

“What are you going to do?” she asked. 

“Talk to him. It’s the only thing for it,” he said then looked at her. “You should consider it too, when you’re ready. This thing?” He said thumping his heart with a fist. “It will burn you up if you let it.”

Aludra rubbed her hands together to warm them up. The scars on her palms and tips of her fingers looked glossy and wet in the firelight. She knew what it felt like to be burned. This wasn’t it. Maybe a part of her had already moved on. Or maybe the damage was already done. “How long have you known?”

“Not long,” he assured her. “You hid it well, but the look on your face when Birgitte and Gaidal announced they were moving to Quebec told me everything I needed to know.”

Her vision grew blurry as tears formed. She'd never spoken any of this aloud before. It felt like something was breaking inside her. Where did one even begin? “I don’t even have a passport. I’ll never see her again.”

“Get one. Traveling is easy now. Saidar and Saidin always have cheap flights to Canada. But better yet, you should come visit us in Ohio. You don’t need a passport to drive out to Athens."

Aludra thought about it. Ohio wasn’t the most dramatic gap year destination, but it would certainly be interesting to see what became of Mat and Talmanes in six months. 

Mat and Talmanes, what a wild thought. 

"You're not alone," Talmanes said.

"Excuse me?"

"You're not alone," he repeated. "You were never alone, and I just want you to remember than."

Aludra held the thermos in both hands. The night was still cold, but she felt warmer noes No matter what happened next. No matter what changed. Some things were everlasting no matter what the Age. Tonight was an ending, but it was also a beginning.


End file.
